Florida Man Stories – September 4

September 4 – Florida Woman, Intoxicated, Steals Lobster from Restaurant

The folks at a St. Petersburg Red Lobster restaurant witnessed a curious theft. An intoxicated woman chose to kick up quite a fuss with the restaurant manager, using a lot of inappropriate language, before stealing a lobster and leaving. She was initially asked to leave because she was bothering other guests. The lobster theft seems to be the last step of this particular crime.

Upon arrest in the parking lot, the lobster was not visible.

Kimberly Gabel was charged with disorderly intoxication and petty theft. She was later asked to pay $100 bond before release.

There are no indications for her reasons for either the hostility or the theft. Perhaps she’s an animal activist?

A Maine lobster, taken from the tank of a Florida restaurant, may survive for a short time in a parking lot. Because most chain seafood restaurants sell Maine lobsters with the big claws, it’s unlikely that putting such a lobster back in the sea will increase any chances for survival.

Even a locally harvested lobster will not survive for long in the parking lot. In the heat of a St. Petersburg day, it’s likely that the location of the lobster will quickly become known!

The warm waters around Florida will not be friendly to a Maine lobster. Additionally, a Maine lobster in the tank of a restaurant can be kept alive before cooking, but will not be kept in the most vigorous health. Sadly, the lobster had little chance of survival in any future scenarios.

Indications are that Gabel is unaware of the facts as she was black-out drunk at the time of the incident. After her arrest, she was bonded out for $100, so there is little urgency to getting more information on the event. Justification for the verbal abuse hurled at the manager and the missing lobster will likely remain a mystery.

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September 4 – Florida Man Experiences Blue Green Algae Overload Firsthand

Blue green algae is a serious problem in Florida’s fresh waterways. It should be avoided if at all possible; it’s very hard on the body and can cause serious health issues if ingested.

That risk didn’t deter Abraham Duarte from jumping into a fresh water canal when he was trying to escape police after getting stopped for speeding. Once in the canal, Duarte was quickly overcome with the algae and even ingested some. He quickly made it to the edge of the canal where he was arrested for resisting an officer and booked on suspicion of possession of a controlled substance without a prescription.

A Florida citizen who owned property in the area allowed police to hose down Duarte before taking him to the hospital to be treated for the algae he ingested.

In his vehicle, police found several vials of THC oil. After treatment at the hospital and some time in jail, Duarte was bonded out for more than $17,000.

Running from the police in Florida is inherently dangerous; police are well armed and trained to safely chase down those attempting to flee tickets, fines, penalties and incarceration. Mother Nature offers police a great deal of support in the process of capturing those attempting to avoid paying for their crimes!

Luckily for Duarte, Cape Coral police were able to quickly switch into rescue mode to protect him from long-term exposure to the algae. If your personal plans include trying to run from the cops, be aware that wildlife, even tiny algae, can quickly derail your escape attempt.