Florida Man News – September 8

September 8 – Florida Man or Time Traveler – You Be the Judge

The image of a car speeding down an empty lot before hurtling through time is as iconic as it is ubiquitous. It’s an image from fiction, but one Florida man decided that he was going to make it a reality by traveling through time in his trusty Dodge Challenger. The vehicle would live up to the name as the man sought to challenge the laws of time, space, and Florida all at once.

The Florida man began his high-speed time travel attempt as an intersection’s light turned green. In the blink of an eye, the Florida man was off to challenge the laws of man and common sense alike. Unfortunately, it seems that the laws of time and space are as strong as ever given that no time-traveling occurred. But there’s an old saying that both death and taxes are an inevitability. And on that point, the Florida man may well have been able to break through some assumptions as he managed to crash unharmed through the front of a tax service. Thankfully luck was on everyone’s side as both the Florida man and everyone in the area came out unharmed.

See Also:

September 8 – Florida Man Arms Himself With a Glock To Hunt a Lion (Fish)

Lionfish are an invasive species that causes continual harm to Florida’s delicate ecosystem. As such, anyone catching lionfish is helping the local wildlife. But one Florida man didn’t just want to just catch lionfish, he truly wanted to hunt them. The idea of hunting fish, underwater, with a Glock might sound outlandish at first. But Florida man Courtland Hunt lives up to his surname because he was indeed able to modify a Glock for underwater hunting.

Hunt began by lengthening the barrel. Next up, he worked to ensure that firing the gun wouldn’t leak any lead or other toxic material into the water. All of the modifications were done with Lone World Glock Parts and Accessories along with Airborne Arms Inc. And, finally, it all came down to quite literally taking the plunge.

The Florida man dove 100 feet beneath the waves in search of lionfish. At that moment Florida man and invasive Floridian fish came face to face. It was the moment of truth. Hunt’s fingers tightened and pulled the trigger. Amazingly both gun and plan went off perfectly. The Florida man went on to say that he’s confident now that he’d be safe even if a shark came after him.

September 8 – Florida Man Draws the Perfect Disguise Before His Robbery

It’s hardly strange for someone to create an elaborate sketch before his robbery. But one Florida man wielded his pen in a very different way before setting out for his gas station heist. The name of the Florida man is unknown and he has yet to be apprehended. But if you’re thinking it’s because his disguise was impenetrable then think again. Because this Florida man’s disguise consisted of a fake beard he drew on himself before the robbery.

The beard is a far cry from the elaborate creation you might imagine. It’s much closer to what you’d create for yourself if you had a single pen and only a minute or two. Imagine a face covered in a hasty scribble, often varying between straight lines and random circles.

The rest of his outfit is also lacking in the subtly a thief often cultivates. The Florida man instead wore a bandana, glasses, and a pilot’s jumpsuit. It’s also known that he was driving a brown Toyota. Rather surprisingly, however, the Florida man is as of yet still unidentified.