May 2 – Florida Man Spared from Jail After Burning Cat Alive and Feeding it to His Dogs

This could probably be the most unhinged side of the legal system in Florida. A man, who is possibly the luckiest in Florida took out a stray cat and thought of preparing it as a barbeque to his pit bulls. Even after the cops got wind of the incident, the man was sentenced to probation, without any jail sentencing.

Roberto Hernandez was 17 when he captured a stray cat walking by his home and decided to set it on fire in a cage. The teen poured a flammable liquid on the cat before lighting it up with matchsticks. And as if he wasn’t doing anything feral, Hernandez then took out a drink and sat down to watch the cat struggle in the fire, just like you would watch a barbeque cook.

The then 17-year-old stood up to serve his pit bulls the chapped corpse, which they devoured. The man’s actions were captured by a surveillance camera, which provided enough evidence to keep the man in prison, but ended up not being helpful. Instead, when Circuit Judge Nushin Sayfie reviewed it two years later, she believed Hernandez’s claims that he thought the stray cat was a rabid raccoon that had disturbed the neighboring farms.

So, would burning a raccoon alive be justifiable? Hernandez initially pleaded guilty to felony animal abuse before he was required to serve a 364-day jail time. However, Sayfie, who agreed that raccoons should not be treated with such animosity said she thought jail time was unnecessary. So, the 19-year-old was spared from being considered a felon, receiving a withhold of adjudication.

The man was, instead, required to sign up for a psychological assessment in 12 months, during which he would report to a judge after every month.

However, the ruling did not impress Miami-Dade State Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle, saying persons who are always cruel to trusting animals will always later turn against their fellow humans.

See Also:

• Florida Man Docket – May 1
• Florida Man Files – April 30
• Florida Man Stories – April 29

May 2 – Drunk Florida Man Arrested for Throwing a Bowl of Pancakes Batter at a Woman

Pancake batter left one Florida man with a battery charge after he reportedly used it to attack a woman.

45-year-old Dwayne Zimmerman got to his home on a Friday night and found a woman preparing pancakes. The woman who had blended a whole bowl of pancake batter was preparing dinner from the porch of the home when the drunk 45-year-old approached her. The arrest report indicates the man straight-up insulted the woman before grabbing the cooking pan and throwing it at the woman.

Before long, the man reached for the bowl of batter and tossed it to the woman but she missed it. However, the bowl, from the throwing force, hit against a wall and broke into pieces. The batter also spattered across the woman’s hair and upper body, per the arrest report.

When the cops were called to the scene, they reportedly found some of the spreading across the floor and the screen enclosing the porch. Zimmerman, who had previously been convicted of battery in 2007 and 2001, earned a felony battery yet again. He was then transported to the Hernando County Jail, facing a $2,000 bond.

While this incident is screwed up enough, wait until you learn of another Florida man who hit his wife after she asked her to help with some work in the house. He might have taken the gender role thing way too seriously to be aggravated at being asked to help in the house.

52-year-old Richard Atchison “lost his temper” when his wife required his hand with fixing a Christmas tree. Things got worse when Atchison’s wife accidentally splashed water on him using a spoon in the sink. The man who “had been drinking” had enough reasons to leave his home. However, after packing his clothes and getting to the car, he realized he should have chased his wife instead.