Florida Man Headlines – June 28

June 28 – Florida Man’s Donut Addiction Leads Him Into an Odd Encounter

What did the Florida man say as he dropped one friend off for his chemotherapy before proceeding to usher a lovely old lady home from church? Given the wholesome nature of the trek, it might surprise you to hear that he was forced to defend himself to police against allegations of donut-aided methamphetamine delivery.

That sounds like a bizarre accusation, but it makes more sense when you see the chain of events. The Florida man, Daniel Rushing, had just finished taking his good friend to chemotherapy. On the way back, he helped an older woman from his church get home by sparing her a two-mile walk in the hot sun.

With his good deeds for the day finished Rushing was perhaps a little too eager to get home and wound up driving over the speed limit. A police officer noticed the Florida man’s mistake and pulled him over. This is where the trouble began, as Rushing has a concealed weapons permit. The police officer noticed that fact, became concerned for her safety, and requested that Rushing exit his vehicle. She then asked if she and some additional officers could search his vehicle.

Rushing obliged, thinking he had nothing to worry about as he never even smoked cigarettes. The officer called for assistance, and the collected team began to search the Florida man’s car. The officers eventually found some mysterious crystalline particles on the car’s floorboard. The Florida man insisted that it was just from the donuts he bought every other Wednesday without fail. The officers insisted the crystals were methamphetamine and booked him on charges of drug possession while armed. The situation was absurd enough to provoke laughter in neighboring cells after Rushing was brought in.

The Florida man was finally released on bail ten hours later. Chemical testing eventually proved that the “crystalline substance” wasn’t a controlled substance. The Florida man’s strange, sugary, saga ended with all charges dropped.

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June 28 – Florida Man Manages To Turn an Interest in Pinterest, Facebook, and Libraries Into a Counterfeiting Scheme

An interest in Pinterest, Facebook, and local libraries might seem harmless or wholesome. But Florida men have a way of subverting expectations in some of the most criminally inventive ways possible. This particular instance involves a Florida man named Levy Newberry.

Newberry claims that his attempts to counterfeit 5, 10, 20, and 50 dollar bills weren’t to create some kind of criminal empire. Instead, he says he was just curious to see what an attempt to print out counterfeit money would look like. That inspiration launched the Florida man on a trek for tools and supplies.

Many Florida men begin their epic adventures at Walmart, and Newberry is no exception. He headed to the public library with a stack of Walmart’s resume paper in hand. From there, he was able to browse Pinterest for templates. The library itself gave him access to a printer. Facebook even connected him with someone interested in buying $500 of Newberry’s “bills” for $250.

However, Newberry made a massive mistake before that plan could come to fruition. The Florida man gave some of his newly minted wealth to his landlord. The landlord was far from fooled and promptly called the police. Investigators attested to why the money was so easy to identify as fake.

Scammers tend to put some work into making their bills more authentic. This can involve printing new denominations onto authentic bills of a lesser value, washing printed currency to help change textures, etc. Newberry’s method involved putting plain paper into a printer and hitting the print button. Newberry would be charged with forgery. But at least the Florida man did get an answer to his question of what counterfeiting would look like.