Florida Man Headlines – August 7

August 7 – Florida Man Discusses “Bomb” in His Pants As a Method of Flirting

Despite recent events and the history of terrorist threats in the United States, 70 year old Alan Borisnsky still thought it was appropriate to jokingly suggest he had a bomb in his pants as a way of impressing fellow passengers.

The passengers to whom Borinsky was speaking to were concerned and chose to report the threat. Borinsky was arrested and charged with a second-degree felony for making a false bomb report. He had to pay a $7,500 bond to be released from jail.

It seems that airports offer a wide variety of options for those intent on making an unwise decision. While there are no indications that Borinsky was drinking before making his false bomb report, it’s concerning to know that he’s not the only person to make such a claim! A 20 year old man reported a bomb threat against himself to get “revenge” on someone and received similar charges in Fort Myers. The ability to guard your speech and avoid this type of trouble shouldn’t be this tough!

It should be noted that these felony convictions are nothing to play around with. How much trouble can your words cause? You don’t have to carry a weapon to suffer the penalties of a felony charge. Whether you’re attempting to flirt or to get revenge on someone, even a second-degree felony conviction can result in fines, a criminal record, restitution charges, prison time.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own specific sense of humor. You may or may not find the same thing as funny as your neighbor. If you’re concerned about how a comment might be taken, perhaps it’s best not to make the comment. Finally, in today’s political climate, perhaps it’s never a good idea to talk about bombs your clothing while you’re at the airport.

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August 7 – Florida Man Steals Locomotive

A thief broke into the Florida Central Railroad and took a diesel locomotive for a joyride. It should be noted that trains are not often stolen; while a passenger may choose to break into a car and ride the rails, it’s actually pretty tough to start, let alone steal, a diesel locomotive.

However, the thief in question (who may or may not have been male, let’s be fair) not only stole a diesel locomotive, they took it for a seven mile joyride down the tracks before getting it stopped and abandoning it. During this joyride, they took out a fence and crossed several railroad crossings before coming to a lonely stop.

Mercifully, the thief didn’t hit anyone at any of the railroad crossings they barreled through. They also didn’t cause any terrible wrecks by abandoning the train on the tracks and wandering away. It should be noted that an abandoned train car can cause a crash that can lead to a derailment. Depending on what the train is carrying, a derailment of some chemicals can be quite catastrophic.

If this strikes you as the skilled work of someone in their second childhood, it shouldn’t. The thief apparently chose to hit a lot of buttons and many switches in the hot-wiring process and did a lot of costly damage to the locomotive.

As with many epic tales that turn out to be bad choices, the thief may have been chemically altered before the theft. Perhaps it took them seven miles of panicking to stop the train before abandoning it and wandering away into the night.

Joyrides are only slightly less frustrating than general vandalism. If a potential thief is desperate for money and they rob you for cash or items to pawn, you may not be happy but the action is at least understandable. The choice to steal for fun or destroy for joy is really tough to understand.