June 17 – Florida Man Streaks Into Woods After Destroying Restaurant Urinal and Stripping Naked

If you’ve not heard it before, it’s in Florida where your wildest imaginations turn real. Think of a man just casually walking into a restaurant bathroom at 11:00 p.m., destroying the urinal, and stripping completely naked. What a scene!

A concerned Miller’s Ale House employee called the cops when he saw a man walking out of the restaurant bathroom soaking wet and walked to the parking lot. The man, per the police incident report, started stripping his clothes, one layer after another until he was completely naked.

While a normal human struggles to walk naked out of their house, the suspect ran so far that the cops couldn’t find him upon their arrival. He might have thought he would attract more attention and sell himself out as the suspect because of his soaked clothes. However, being naked was such a dumb move because it was going to attract more attention than the wet clothes would, as the cops said in a Facebook post.

Well, the deputies didn’t immediately find him, meaning he either must have had a good escape plan or it might have not ended well with him being naked and in pitch-dark woods.

And in another naked crime scene, a naked Florida man walked into a busy street yelling he was from a different earth. 44-year-old Jason Smith walked naked on a Palm Beach street when a Taboo employee called the cops on him.

The man walked past a restaurant along Worth Avenue, catching the sight of a few customers and causing a scene. So, when the cops arrived, everyone pointed them to the 44-year-old. After the deputies asked Jason why he was naked, he explained he didn’t know where he had placed his clothes. And while that’s the most reluctant response you could give a cop, Jason refused to give his name, ID number, and other identity requirements, claiming he came from a “different earth.”

See Also:

• Florida Man Files – June 16
• Florida Man Stories – June 15
• Florida Man Chronicle – June 14

June 17 – Florida Man on Crack Leads Cops to Over 2-Hour High-Speed Chase Before Suddenly Stopping to Hydrate on Stolen Capri Suns

We all know what regular thirst does to someone. However, if you’re thirsty because of crack, then chances are you’ll be willing to turn yourself in to the cops just to have a Capri Suns drink. Food is where it all ends! Like a scenario where a Florida man ended an hourslong standoff with cops when authorities promised him pizza, a man was ready for whatever as long as he had his bottle of refreshment.

Donald Howard, a 43-year-old, a 6-foot tall man got to the wrong side of the law for contempt of court. As cops came to his home in the 4100 block of South Haverhill Road, the man immediately knew how to deal with the situation. Good thing, he was already outside and appeared to be working on his car. So, he told the cops he had to leave before hopping into his car and making a wild U-turn that made the cops fear for their lives.

Well, he had really confused them because, from his point of view, he was simply kickstarting an hours-long wild chase. Hardly had the cops known they would have to ask for serious backup, including a helicopter and 4 K-9s to get an idea of where he was hiding.

Well, the man almost lost it when he hit a wood and chain link fence. But he quickly jumped out of the car and ran on foot, leaving the car behind. The cops came after him closely until they suddenly lost track. He had started making pit stops and stole from several homes out of thirst from crack. In one of these homes, Howard stole three Capri Suns when residents of some of the homes he ran into refused to give him water.

After a long 2-and-a-half hours of confounding the police with his mysteries, the cops asked for backup, totaling 20 deputies, 5 cops from Greenacres, a sheriff helicopter, and four PBSO K-9s. He couldn’t continue eluding arrest out of too much thirst.