Florida Man Docket – July 27

July 27 – Florida Man’s Dream Vacation Turns Nightmare After $143,000 Phone Bill Shocker

A Florida man’s post-holiday bliss descended into horror after he received a six-figure bill from T-Mobile.

Rene Remund and his wife, Linda, had recently returned from a trip to Switzerland. The pair had previously traveled to the destination since the location is Remund’s country of origin.

Remund claims that he notified his cell phone carrier of his travel plans prior to going overseas. According to Remund, he visited a T-Mobile branch regarding his upcoming excursion and that an employee assured him that he would be “covered” as a loyal customer for more than 30 years.

The couple then embarked on the trip that they would describe as “magical.” As they visited relatives and trekked the beautiful Swiss countryside, Remund never imagined that the frequent international phone calls and text messages meant that he would rack up astronomical roaming charges along the way.

Upon returning home, the Dunedin resident received a bill that he first interpreted as $143. Remund felt the price tag was “reasonable” — until he realized that the bill stated that he actually owed over $143,000.

“I’m looking at the bill [thinking]: ‘Excuse me?’” Remund said. “$143,000 — are you guys crazy?”

Remund contacted his mobile carrier to review the charges. The phone representative told him that the bill was valid since he owed $143,269 for using 9.5 gigabytes of international data roaming. Unwilling to concede to the misunderstanding, the couple hired a lawyer who wrote letters to the carrier’s corporate office to no avail.

The disgruntled mobile customers then alerted the news media. After receiving a request for comment from ABC News, T-Mobile offered the credit the couple’s account for the full amount due. Remund accepted the gesture “as an absolute relief.”

Experts advise turning off your phone’s roaming feature before leaving for a trip. Consider using Wi-Fi instead of limited data, or temporarily switch to an overseas SIM card to monitor data usage. As T-Mobile’s official policy now states, “We recommend our customers check the travel features of their plan before departing.”

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July 27 – Florida Man Sets Himself Aflame in Front of Trump Trial Courthouse

A Florida man doused himself in flammable liquid before setting himself aflame in front of the courthouse where Donald J. Trump stands trial.

Identified as Maxwell “Max” Azzarello of St. Augustine, Florida, the man poured accelerant on himself and advised pedestrians to stand back before igniting his body. Witnesses state that Azzarello had thrown around flyers prior to kindling the flames, but observers remained unclear on what the pamphlets stated. Azzarello may have also made declarations of a political nature.

Authorities confirmed witness accounts and report that the flyers were “conspiracy oriented.” The title of one pamphlet read “The True History of the World” and purported to exposure “evil billionaires.”

After Azzarello set himself alight, one bystander attempted to put out the fire with a coat. Another onlooker arrived with a fire extinguisher in hand. Bystanders remained unable to put out the fire until four police officers arrived at the scene.

Investigations from authorities revealed that Azzarello had a prior history of political dissatisfaction, civil unrest, and run-ins with the law. Records show three arrests in his native St. Augustine. At least two of the arrest incidents occurred at the Casa Monica Resort & Spa. According to police reports, Azarrello hurled wine at an autographed frame of Bill Clinton and stained it. The St. Johns County resident was also on probation for another count of criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.

Civil records showed that Azarrello had previously sued the Clinton Foundation for fraud. U.S. District Judge J. Paul Oetken dismissed the case due to lack of standing and lack of subject-matter jurisdiction.

Prior to the courthouse self-immolation, Azarrello published an online manifesto describing his plans in protest of an upcoming “apocalyptic fascist world coup.” Friends and neighbors say that the protestor left Florida to travel to New York without prior notice.

“He went to New York like a few days after he got off probation,” said Steven Satterfield, a St. Augustine resident and neighbor of Azzarrello. “He said he wanted to be a political martyr and he meant it.”