Florida Man Chronicle – June 30

June 30 – Florida Man Lasts Entire Minutes Before Committing Another Crime After Earning His Freedom

Recidivism is a real and usually quite serious problem throughout America. However, most people agree that certain areas struggle with recidivism more than others. Likewise, certain individuals seem to fall to temptation far more easily than others. This point can be seen quite clearly with events that led a Florida man into one of the shortest tastes of freedom a convict has ever experienced.

Michael Lewis had recently been released from jail, and he was starting to feel the urge to commit some more crimes. And recent, in this sense, means very recent. The Florida man spied his next target within minutes of his release. Lewis technically hadn’t even left the prison when he decided he’d found a target far too good to pass up.

Lewis stood in the parking lot of the jail he’d just been released from and stared with hunger at lines of cars. Each vehicle was possibly filled with goodies ripe for the taking. The Florida man only fought against that temptation for a moment. Lewis quickly made his way over to the cars, where he was reportedly seen acting strangely. The newly released convict went from car to car and tried to open each one’s doors. Like a Floridian Goldilocks, Lewis kept looking for a “just right” vehicle. He eventually found one as the door opened right up for him.

Michael Lewis proceeded to fill a brown paper bag with various purloined treasures. These included a debit card, wads of cash totaling up to $547, and even an iPhone 7. However, stealing from a jail isn’t the most subtle thing in the world. The Florida man was quickly arrested on charges of possession of stolen property, burglary, and grand theft.

See Also:

June 30 – Florida Man Engages in a Fierce Battle With a Kitty Named Calli

Florida men are renowned for endurance and resourcefulness against anything nature throws at them. Go to any bar; a Florida man will surely have a story about his encounters with ornery gators. But fighting off a bobcat inside a seemingly safe apartment is another story. And it’s one that Florida man Marcos Hernandez insists isn’t just a “big cat” story.

It all began with what should have been a standard fire inspection inside Christine Lee’s condo. Hernandez entered the premises, just as expected. However, what happens next differs depending on who you ask. The Florida man insists that he was attacked by a wild bobcat when he entered the condo.

A bobcat is a real danger as they can grow as large as 35 lbs. If someone goes up against a bobcat and walks away with nothing more than scratches, then he should consider himself lucky. But that’s only true if the encounter really is with a bobcat. And that’s the central issue with the Florida man’s tale because Lee doesn’t own a bobcat. Lee’s cat is a cute, 10 lb, domestic longhair named Calli.

The nature of the injury is also under dispute. Lee claims that what was initially thought to be little more than scratches is actually a serious and permanent injury. The Florida man sought legal representation and intends to bring the case to a full jury. He’s also decided to take legal action against the condo building’s owner. Lee, on the other hand, has gone on record with the statement that it’s all nonsense and so blown out of proportion as to be ridiculous. A wildlife official has also visited Lee’s residence to determine the validity of each party’s claims.