Florida Man Chronicle – June 22

June 22 – Drunk Florida Man Haunted By Shadows Crashes Into Palm Coast Home

A young Florida man told police officers that a menacing shadow caused him to swerve off the road and slam his pickup truck into another truck parked on a residential driveway in Palm Coast. The accident happened in the Indian Trails district of Palm Coast, a postcard-like community considered by many to be one of the neighborhoods offering the highest quality of life in Florida.

Aidan Sauco-Maldonado, an 18-year-old resident of Palm Coast, was arrested by deputies from the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office after he ran away from the scene of the accident he caused on a bright Sunday morning. Witnesses at the home where Sauco-Maldonado crashed told the deputies who responded that he looked shaken as he stepped out of his wrecked truck, looked around at the damage he caused, and fled on foot with the agility and speed of a Florida panther.

The deputies later located Sauco-Maldonado crossing a community park located several blocks away from the crash site. When asked about what had happened, the driver said that he was scared by a strange shadow moving across the road. According to the arrest report, he smelled of liquor and was visibly intoxicated, so he was charged with driving under the influence (DUI).

In Florida, a DUI crash with third-party property damage and no injuries falls is a first-degree misdemeanor that carries a maximum sentence of up to 12 months in jail, but judges rarely impose prison time; otherwise, the already overcrowded correctional system would be exacerbated. Depending on the blood alcohol content measured by a Breathalyzer machine or a blood test, the judge may order the installation of an ignition interlock device (IID), which can remain on the defendant’s vehicle for up to 12 months.

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June 22 – Evil Curse and Paranormal Activity Caused Florida Man to Fight Police Officers

Andres Orjuela-Montealegre, a 29-year-old resident of Marion County in central Florida, claimed that paranormal activity linked to a strange curse forced him to drive his car without tires; plus, he tried to grab the Taser devices carried by the two deputies who spotted his damaged car on a highway ramp.

The incident unfolded in the Marion Oaks district on an early Saturday morning. Orjuela was attempting to drive onto Highway I-75 despite his car lacking tires on the driver’s side, so he was essentially driving on the rims with the hazard lights turned on. The deputies detected a strong smell of liquor as they approached Orjuela on the shoulder of the ramp, and he explained that he lost the tires after impacting a curb. He blamed the accident on a curse that another Florida man put on him for unknown reasons.

In the bodycam footage released by the sheriff’s office, Orjuela can be heard concocting a bizarre story about being in a difficult situation forcing him to either drive home without tires, set the vehicle on fire, or find a spot to sleep somewhere on the I-75 median. The deputies instructed Orjuela to submit to field sobriety tests, and this was when he threatened them with violence. After telling the deputies that he would beat them with a baseball bat and skinning them alive, Orjuela spat in their faces and proceeded to reach for their Tasers. As he was handcuffed and taken to the patrol car, Orjuela resisted and kicked the deputies.

In the end, Orjuela was taken to jail for a blood test because he refused a Breathalyzer session; he was also charged with driving under the influence, battery, and resisting arrest with violence.