Florida Man Calendar – September 7

September 7 – Florida Woman Fights for Equality and Arson Against Florida Man

The antics of Floridian men are legendary at this point. However, Carmen Chamblee recently showed the world that a Florida woman is just as capable of truly mind-boggling plans.

The Florida woman had recently broken up with her boyfriend and was understandably upset. Everyone knows that it sometimes takes extreme measures to find peace and a sense of closure when such a significant phase of your life is over. However, for most women that means a tub of ice cream, pushing workouts up a notch, or something similar. But the Florida woman didn’t want the chill of ice cream, she wanted the fires of vengeance – literally.

Chamblee decided that the logical course of action was to set fire to her ex-boyfriend’s car. However, the Florida woman didn’t put quite as much care into finding the right car as she should have. Because Chamblee ended up setting fire to a car that simply looked like her ex’s vehicle.

Things proved even more unfortunate for the Florida woman as surveillance footage showed her involvement in every step of the crime’s progression. But while the revenge wasn’t successful, the Florida woman did prove one very important point. Chamblee showed that Florida woman is just as much a force to be reckoned with as Florida man.

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September 7 – Florida Man Proves Himself a Master of Disguise by Drawing a Beard

Fiction is filled with countless examples of daring heists performed by masters of disguise. Memories of those movies, stories, and more may have been swimming through the mind of a Florida man during a very unusual robbery.

News of a gas station robbery isn’t especially surprising in and of itself. An understaffed location open all night is a tempting target. But what makes this case so strange is that the culprit donned a hand-drawn beard to disguise himself.

The Florida man put on a bandana, jumped into a military-style jumpsuit, donned some clear gloves, and was almost ready for action. Then he grabbed a marker and drew a beard on his face.

The real punchline is that his heist seems to have worked out after all. The Florida man with a hand-drawn disguise has continued to elude the police. He might have actually been right about that beard.

September 7 – Florida Man Buckets Up in Preparation for a Daring Pigeon Theft

Mae and Nelson Hernandez run a religious store that provides an impressive inventory. In fact, they even sell specially bred pigeons. But the Hernandez’s stock of pigeons suffered an unexpected loss thanks to a local Florida man’s strange heist.

An unknown Floridian suspect broke into the store with a bucket on his head. The Florida man’s truly bizarre disguise makes this a strange robbery. But it enters into the realm of the truly mind-boggling when you know what his ultimate goal was – pigeons. The burglar broke into the store, headed right to the pigeons, and made off with them still in the cage.

The pigeons themselves are worth thousands. Worse, the theft was perpetrated against people whose entire business is quite literally aimed at making the world a better place. But there’s still hope as a reward has been set for the apprehension of the pigeon-napping Florida man. As for Mae and Nelson Hernandez, they’re taking precautions to ensure that this never happens again. The pair has gone to great lengths to increase security so that pigeons and patrons alike can be at ease. While more pigeon thefts seem unlikely, it’s always best to bet on Florida man’s unpredictability.