Florida Man Calendar – August 22

August 22 – Florida Man Protects His Lawn With Equal Parts Fury and Firearm

People tend to be understandably protective of their lawns. After all, it can take a lot of work to keep your lawn healthy when harsh weather, pests, and more are poised to hurt it. So it’s hardly surprising that the average Florida man might become a little upset when people walk on his lawn. But “lawn rage” was taken to a whole new level when contractors laying down fiber optic cable were packing up to go home for the night.

An angry Florida man had been keeping an eye on the contractors for a while at that point. For some reason, even though they were laying cable on the other side of the street, the Florida man was sure his lawn was in danger. Lawn rage flaring to an unprecedented level, the Florida man walked out to confront the contractors just as they were preparing to clock out for the night. They were shocked to receive a profanity-laden rant. But shock turned to concern when the Florida man pulled out a gun. To paraphrase the irate homeowner, the contractors would “see what happens” if they “ruin his grass”.

But it was the Florida man who wound up seeing the consequences of his actions as police soon arrived to de-escalate the situation. Rather than calming the Florida man the police’s arrival just made him angrier. The officers obtained a warrant and searched the Florida man’s home. This quickly turned up a loaded pistol. The police proceeded to arrest the Florida man under charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. It’s a confusing situation for almost everyone involved. But one thing has been made abundantly clear – you don’t mess with Florida man’s lawn.

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August 22 – Florida Man Decides To Make Himself at Home on Top of an Ambulance

Everyone can agree that it’s nice to get home when you’re having a rough day. You’re hot, you might want to get some exercise in, and of course, you want to relax. But most people wait until they’re home to make themselves at home. Florida man Todd Boothe isn’t one of those people. Boothe was instead captivated by the sight of a parked fire rescue ambulance. Before anyone knew it, the Florida man had climbed on top of the vehicle and truly made himself at home. He wasn’t just sitting on the ambulance, he was up there living life to the fullest. His shirt was off, and his exercise routine was proceeding at a pace that would be the envy of any fitness enthusiast.

The Florida man seemed to have truly embraced a new kind of ambulance-based living. It’d be an idyllic scene if Booth owned the vehicle or had permission to use it. However, Booth most certainly had neither ownership nor permission to make use of the ambulance. As such he began to attract the attention of both incredulous onlookers and authorities. In total, the Florida man was chilling on the ambulance’s roof for about two and a half hours.

Things became far more hectic during the tail end of the event. Police needed to block the street while escorting the Florida man back onto the ground. This effectively ensured that traffic was backed up simply because one Florida man decided that he had the right to live on top of an ambulance. Amazingly enough, it turns out that the Florida man had a habit of relaxing on top of random perches. He’d previously made a nuisance of himself by sitting on top of a traffic light post. The eccentric chain of events led police to seek a mental health evaluation before proceeding.